Don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first

Everything In-Between

Sex and The City is playing 24/7 from my TV. It’s on when I get home from work, before I go to bed, and even when I’m getting ready in the morning. There’s something about the show that just gives me good vibes and makes living in NYC that much more exciting. I also think Carrie Bradshaw is the coolest human being ever created, although she does get on my nerves throughout her relationship with Aidan (I’ve always been team Aidan!) Anyway, she’s my ultimate girl crush for so many reasons. 1- she can pull off heel booties wearing pajamas in the snow, 2- she buys Vogue for dinner because it satisfies her more than food, and 3- she’s obsessed with shoes. She’s basically just fabulous on every level. Carrie has said many inspiring things throughout the seasons of Sex and The City, but one quote that has always stood out to me was “Don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first.” It’s definitely been over said, but I don’t care. I still love it and the saying will never get old to me. Here’s my twist on it…

First off, I think a lot of girls struggle with loving themselves. Part of it is due to social media. It’s so easy to compare yourself to other girls these days, especially on Instagram. I’m not going to lie when I say that even I struggle sometimes with scrolling through my feed seeing girls with tiny waists, big boobs and perfect hair (they are usually extensions ladies!!) I think once we have this image in our head of how we want to look, it’s then hard to stand in the mirror and be happy with what we see. We’re constantly buying new makeup products, whitening our teeth, getting eyelash extensions and adding to our wardrobe. Which is fine! Just think about why you do that for a sec. If the answer is because it makes you feel good than amen sista! I could play with eyeshadow palettes and shop for new skinny jeans all day… If the answer is anything related to you trying to look like someone else or fit some other image, than that is no bueno. Only you can be honest with yourself on that one…

It’s OK to strive to want to look or feel better- I actually think this is important. I’m a firm believer in the “Look Good, Feel Good” saying. If I go to work wearing my favorite heels and a fab lip color, I genuinely have a better day than if I didn’t take the time to do my hair or throw together a cute outfit. Feeling confident just puts you in a better mindset, hence why you’ll have a better day. BUTTTT if you start to obsess over fitting a certain image because you’re not happy with how you look, then that’s not ok. Strive to enhance your features, not change them. I think it is SO important for every girl to love herself with no makeup on. And if you don’t, then learn how to. Put yourself at the top of your to do list every single morning – whether it’s writing down three things you love about yourself or waking up to a self set alarm that reads YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, find something that will help you believe in and love your raw self. Heck, I permanently wrote something on my body as a daily reminder to do this. My tattoo reads- Imperfection in Beauty. Your imperfections make you who you are. They are what make you, you…and this whole idea of loving them can actually be a really beautiful thing.

Secondly, Carrie’s quote can be applied to the relationship department. You have to love yourself before you can love someone else. It’s that simple. You need to learn how to feel fulfilled with sleeping alone at night and feel content without getting a good morning text each day. Because the truth is, you’ll never be able to fully love someone, really love them from the bottom of your heart, if you don’t love yourself the same amount. Two things will end up happening: 1 (if you’re in a relationship)- this will create more work for your partner, as they will constantly have to validate your inner and outer beauty in order to make up for your lack of confidence in it. Or 2 (if you’re not in a relationship yet)- you’ll end up settling for less. You won’t think you’re good enough for the guy that you really are good enough for, and you’ll end up with some Joe Shmoe that doesn’t treat you like you should be treated. Don’t fall for the Joes!!!

God made no mistakes when he created you. It’s important to remind yourself this on a daily basis. You have the freckles on your cheeks because God wanted you to have them there, in each exact spot. You have smaller lips because maybe your soul mate has small lips too, and together your kisses will be perfect. Take time to notice and appreciate all your physical features and personality traits. Once you learn to love all that you are, you can’t even imagine how much love you’ll have to pour out into someone else. 

Jade ♡

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